Patience
by coldnovemberrain
Summary: Jesse and Lexa bond when he ends up in hospital. They both need each other, but will their relationship survive when Lexa learns about what Jesse does for a living? Set around season 3/4. Jesse/OC
1. Chapter 1

"Why are you doing this?"

Lexa stopped talking and looked up. She hadn't noticed he was awake. She took her feet of the chair opposite of her, sitting up straight, her notebook pressed to her chest.

"Because I want to help you," she replied honestly. "And you are a good listener."

Lexa had been reading her stories to Jesse Pinkman ever since she found it he was in the hospital, beaten to a pulp. Every day during visiting hours she'd come by, sitting down in the same chair in the corner, putting her feet up on another, reading the stories she had written the hours before. She never knew if Jesse was really listening, but she hoped it might help him recover.

Jesse had moved in next door to her about a month ago. She wasn't sure how he could pay for the house, as it was about twice as big as hers, but frankly she didn't care. The only thing she cared about now was him getting better.

Never before had he asked her why she kept coming. Normally he remained in bed, listening to her reading her stories to him or sleeping while she continued to read them anyway. But apart from her, nobody seemed to visit him during visiting hours, prompting her to go back everyday. Nobody should suffer alone and abandoned.

"The swelling seems to go down," Lexa spoke. Jesse's face had been a real mess when she first visited, but it seemed to heal up well. The bruises still remained, although they are changing colors every time she is visiting him in the hospital.

"Yeah," Jesse simply replied.

"I can talk to the nurse if you want more painkillers?"

"No, I'm alright."

She always wondered if Jesse wanted her to be here, but she never dared to ask. Maybe she needed his company more than he needed hers. Lexa didn't have many friends in Albuquerque, as she left them all behind in Chicago when she moved. Lexa had always figured the move an easy one, but she had underestimated it. Being alone was harder than she had imagined and making friends didn't seem to come as naturally as when she was still in high school.

But she wasn't the only one having a hard time. Besides having his face caved in, Lexa knew Jesse was an addict from the moment she laid eyes on him. The way he behaved and the parties at his house, she had seen it all before with a close relative who luckily went to rehab and never touched drugs again. Recovering from bruises while trying to ignore the urges for drugs must be hard. However, Jesse didn't know she knew about that, and she wanted to keep it that way.

A nurse popped her head around the doorpost. "Visiting hours are over, miss."

Lexa nodded softly, pushing herself up, her notebook still pressed to her chest. She quickly checked if the flowers she had brought with her had enough water so they wouldn't die overnight. "I'll see you tomorrow?" she asked, before going.

"Yeah, see ya," Jesse replied.

* * *

Like she promised, Lexa returned the following day. Before going straight to see him, she managed to pull a nurse aside, asking her if she was allowed to take Jesse outside. The nurse nodded and told her it was fine, so the next mission was to retrieve a wheelchair from somewhere.

She went all the way back to the reception area, where she found a place where she could rent them. Lexa hoped the fresh air would do him good, and besides, he was probably craving a smoke by now.

When reaching his room again, she parked the wheelchair outside before going in, but to her surprise his bed was empty. For a moment she stared at the empty bed, her heart rate increasing fast. As quick as she could, she checked the bathroom, but it appeared to be empty as well. Taking in a deep breath, she ran her finger through her hair. He hadn't checked out and left, hadn't he? Lexa didn't recall seeing him at his house.

She was slightly starting to panic. Even though Jesse was starting to get better, he was nowhere in good enough health to leave yet. However, she figured someone around here must know where he is, so Lexi decided to go back to the reception to ask, preparing for the worst.

With her hand on the doorpost, she swung around it, bumping in to someone. When she could focus again and noticed who it was, she let out a sigh.

"Jesus Christ, Jesse. Where were you?" she confronted him.

"Just getting a snack?" Jesse replied, holding up the Mars bar he probably had bought from the vending machine at the end of the hall.

Lexa chuckled softly, amazed by her own suspicious nature. "I thought you had left without telling me." She followed Jesse back into his room.

"I'm still here," Jesse said, taking the wrapper off the candy bar. "You wanna share?" Lexa shook her head. Jesse shrugged and eagerly took a bite.

"I had an idea. I rented this wheelchair and thought maybe we could go outside for a smoke?"

"I didn't know you smoked."

"I don't," Lexa replied, riding the wheelchair in from outside.

"I can walk," Jesse replied upon seeing the wheelchair.

"You should make use of this for as long as you can," Lexa replied smiling. "I'm not going to ride you around forever."

To her surprise she managed to get Jesse to smile a little, causing her smile to widen. Lexa positioned the wheelchair she he could get in easily. Her hand slid in her pocket, retrieving a packet of smokes which she handed to him as soon as he sat down. "Thanks," he said, while taking a cigarette out of the package.

"I didn't know what kind you liked, but I always see everyone smoking Marlboro cigarette so I hoped you would like them as well."

"They're fine."

She pushed Jesse down the hallway, into the elevator. Since a few days he didn't need to be hooked up to an IV anymore, which allowed him to move around more freely as opposed to before, when he had to drag a pole with him everywhere he went.

"Don't you have any family visiting you?" she suddenly asked out of nowhere, continuing pushing him towards the main entrance to go outside. Lexa had been curious to why only she had been visiting him. Surely he must have friends, family? Jesse was a handsome guy, it didn't look like he didn't have any friends around Albuquerque.

"Not really," Jesse replied, not a hint of uneasiness in his voice. Lexa had figured he didn't like talking about this subject, but apparently he had no problem with it. "Where is your family?"

"In Chicago," Lexa replied. They stopped to wait for the door to open.

"Why did you come here?"

Lexa didn't mind all the questions at all, in fact, she quite liked it. This was the most talkative Jesse had been the entire week.

"For a change, I guess. An adventure, I don't really know."

As always, the hot New Mexican air greeted them as they went outside. The hot and humid climate was a change to Chicago's four seasons, and so far Lexa wasn't sure if she liked it. The idea of constant hot weather seemed appealing to some, but she preferred to have a bit of snow here and there.

Lexa stopped once they reached the bench in front of the hospital. She put Jesse's wheelchair next to the bench so she could sit next to him. As soon as they came to a halt, Jesse lit up a cigarette.

"Thanks for this," he said, softly blowing out the smoke.

"You're welcome," Lexa said with a smile.

"I really like your stories, by the way. They are great. You should get them published."

Lexa started to blush, she knew her stories weren't bad, but they were not great by any means. "I'm trying to, but I don't have one I like good enough to sent to a publisher."

"I liked the one with the dragons."

Lexa laughed. "Really? That one sucks, I wrote it in an hour to get my imagination going."

"It's awesome."

"I'm glad you liked it."

They sat in silence for a few minutes, before Jesse announced he wanted to go back. Lexa had enjoyed the silence as she was starting to enjoy Jesse's company more and more. He wanted to hand the packet back to Lexa, but she gave it back, stating he could keep it.

Visiting hours were almost over, and even though she wanted to stay just a little while longer. Their friendship was starting to get somewhere, and she was already looking forward to the hour she could return tomorrow.

"I should be going," Lexa spoke, turning the wheelchair around so she could take it back to the reception.

"Are you coming tomorrow?" Jesse asked, climbing under the sheets.

"Of course!" Lexa replied. "I'll even write you another dragon story if you want.

"I'm looking forward to it."

* * *

**A/N:** So this is my first BrBa fic. I'm currently planning all the chapters and I will probably upload a new one tomorrow! Please let me know what you think and hopefully I'll see you next time :)


	2. Chapter 2

With a surprisingly good mood, Lexa returned to the hospital. She had spent the entire morning writing a story about dragons. It had proven harder than she had thought, as she had to look up all different kinds of mythology and information about them when she realized she knew hardly anything about the creatures. In the end she had written a pretty corny, yet funny story about dragons, and she could only hope Jesse would like it.

Unlike yesterday, Jesse was still in his bed when she arrived at his room in the hospital. Lexa noticed how he was seated upwards against the headboard, a different sight than she was used to. Most of the times she found him either lying motionless, covered in blankets, or sleeping in the same position. This small change was a good one, Lexa found. Maybe this meant he was recovering.

"Hey," he greeted her with a warm smile, as if he was waiting for her to come in.

"Hey," she greeted back, taking off her coat and retrieving her notebook from her backpack. "You ready?"

Jesse nodded.

Lexa sat down on the chair she had pretty much claimed. To outsiders it must look silly, two grown adults reading stories to each other, but she would do anything to get Jesse recovered. They had come so far together, she wasn't ready to give up on him.

She sometimes wondered why she was doing this? When Lexa first began visiting Jesse, she hardly knew him, having only greeted him once or twice when passing him in the street. But she had always been a believer in treat people the way you want to be treated. If she would ever be in the hospital, she wanted to people to visit her and help her recover. It was only natural she would help other people.

Taking in a breath, she started reading, blocking out the rest of the world to force her to emerge herself in the story, hoping Jesse would do the same. Reading your work to someone was a great way of seeing how the sentences flowed, what words she had to delete, what bits she had to rephrase. Not only was she helping and entertaining Jesse for a little while, she was also helping herself become a better writer.

It seemed like a lifetime had passed when she finished her story. Softly, she closed the notebook, trying not to bend the papers. Her eyes moved from the cover of the notebook to Jesse. She wanted to ask if he liked it, but hoped he would tell her himself.

"That was great," Jesse said, a smile still covering his face. "Really."

"Thanks," Lexa returned a smile. At first she always struggled with taking compliments, but lately she was accepting them more and more, realizing they might give her more confidence about her work. "We could go out for a smoke, if you want?"

"Yeah, sure," Jesse said. "But I first gotta tell you something."

Lexa raised her eyebrows, wondering what it might be.

"I can leave the hospital tomorrow afternoon."

"Really?! That's great!" Lexa meant it more or less. Her priority had always been seeing Jesse recovering, but she was growing afraid for the fact that after he checked out of the hospital, everything would go back to normal. Would they remain friends, or would they go back to neighbors saying hi to each other when passing by in the street?

"Yeah, I didn't expect it at all," Jesse continued. "But the nurse told I was making great progress, so I could go home if I wanted."

"And you think you're ready to go?"

Lexa knew she was being egoistical, but she couldn't help it. Finally she had found a friend in Albuquerque, someone she enjoyed spending time with. Was she really that bad for not wanting to give that up?

"Yeah! I feel great. I owe a lot of it to you though."

Lexa blushed slightly. "It was my pleasure. I really enjoyed spending time here actually." She turned her head to look at the hospital room.

"If you want you can come over to my house once or twice, after I leave the hospital?" Jesse asked carefully.

Lexa shifted her gaze to him, wonderfully surprised by his comment. Maybe she had been afraid for nothing, again. She made a mental note to stop being paranoid all of the time. "I'd love that," she replied honestly.

She convinced Jesse he should make use of the wheelchair just one more time, seeing as it was the last time he was able to get away with it. But Jesse had insisted on walking himself.

They sat outside on the same bench they had sat on the night before. As soon as they sat down, Jesse retrieved the packets of cigarettes and lit one up. Lexa was surprised to see he hadn't smoked another one since yesterday, as the packet was still full except for one.

"So, what do you do for a living, Jesse Pinkman?" Lexa asked. She had been dying to find out more about him. Did he have a degree? Where did he go to school? What was his favorite color? She wanted to know it all.

He was silent for a moment, before replying: "I'm in business…"

Lexa raised her eyebrows, not sure what he meant was 'business' was a bit vague. "Business?"

"Yeah, I'm a salesperson."

Lexa nodded. "Sounds nice?"

"Yeah, it's okay."

Kinda awkwardly, she started playing with the hem of her shirt.

"What about you? I guess being a writer meant you were a great student in high school," Jesse continued.

Lexa chuckled. "Oh, if only you knew," she started. "I was quite the opposite. Never liked school much so the teacher didn't like me."

Jesse nodded in agreement. "I know that feeling. I actually did enjoy learning, but I didn't like to be forced to study."

"Yeah, exactly. I was lucky I'm a decent writer. My English teacher was the only one who kinda liked me."

"I wasn't good in anything," Jesse laughed.

Lexa gave him a small push with her elbow. "I'm sure you were good at _something_. Everyone is good at something."

"I guess… I was good at science or physics," Jesse admitted.

"Now I was absolutely horrible at that," Lexa smiled. She liked this, sitting outside with him, just talking. It felt like they had known each other for a long time. Helping Jesse was one of the best decisions she had made since she had moved to Albuquerque, she found.

She quietly watched him take a drag from his cigarette, the smoke he blew out floating away in the wind. Lexa had never noticed how blue his eyes were, but with the swelling going down she was finally able to notice them.

Jesse turned his head to the side, looking straight at her. "What?" he asked, a half-smile on his face.

"Nothing," Lexa blushed, looking away quickly. She really did have the intention on staying friends with Jesse, but the more time she spend with him, the harder it was becoming. Not only was he nice to her, he seemed to _appreciate_ her. Her previous experience with men had all been bad. They were always after one thing and when she told them she was a writer, they would often ask her why she would spend her time writing silly stories. Jesse was different.

"When I go home," he started. "I don't want this to stop."

"Me neither," Lexa replied, without thinking. One side of her knew she should stop this, as seen as Jesse was a junkie. He might be sober now, but who knew what he was going to do once the drugs were in reach again. But then again, Lexa wanted to get to know him better, she wanted him to prove her wrong.

Jesse didn't know she knew about the drugs. There and then Lexa made a deal with herself, if he would return to using drugs, she would help him getting sober. If that didn't work, she would force herself to leave him.

* * *

**A/N:** Thank you _princessmikey14_ for the review, I really appreciate it! Next chapter will be longer, I promise. I just really needed these two chapters as sort of an intro. Thank you for reading and please review!


	3. Chapter 3

In preparation of Jesse coming home, Lexa decided to make sure his house was spotless. Coming home to a freshly cleaned house was so much better and it gave her a great excuse to enter his home. She was a little ashamed about the fact she knew he kept an extra set of keys under a rock in the backyard, as she spotted him retrieving the keys from there once.

She casually went into the backyard, trying to make it look like she wasn't trying to break in. A big RV stood in the driveway, in front of his old muscle car. Lexa wondered what Jesse did with that RV, as he didn't seem like the camping guy, but she paid no further mind to it.

Like she expected, she found a key under one of the stones in the backyard near the door, covered in sand. With her sleeve she wiped off the sand, before unlocking the door. Lexa wasn't entirely sure if Jesse was okay with her entering his house, but she figured he probably wouldn't mind.

The kitchen was dark and gloomy and it took Lexa a while to locate the light switch. The bulb flickered a few times before fully lighting the room. Apart from the usual kitchen utensils, the room was completely empty. The cabinets were covered in a layer of dust, as a sign they weren't used in quite a while, but they were not dirty or greasy. Curious, Lexa opened the fridge, only to find it was empty as well and not even plugged in.

She followed the hallway down to the living room, which had to be the most furnished room in the entire house. On her way she had passed two empty rooms which could be used as a study or something else. Lexa figured since he had moved in only so recently, he hadn't had the time to furnish everything, although she had to admit that the empty fridge was pretty odd.

The living room was clean as well, except for the dust. Cleaning this place wouldn't take as long as she had anticipated, but that meant she had the rest of the morning off to write her stories.

She returned to her house next doors to quickly grab a cloth to gather the dust with. The kitchen and living room were done in minutes and seen as the rest of the rooms downstairs weren't even furnished, they were spotless in even less time.

Lexa continued on the second floor, dusting off each and every room, all empty again except for the master bedroom. She made a mental note to go furniture shopping with Jesse. He was the owner of a really lovely house, it would be a shame not to make it a home.

The sheets on the bed in the master bedroom still looked pretty fresh, so she decided not to change them but just make the bed. Lexa gathered all the pillows which were thrown on the ground, dusting them off with her hand before putting them on the bed. She noticed she had kicked one under the bed, so she got down on her knees to retrieve it.

Not really paying any attention when grabbing the pillow, she managed to grab something else. Instead of the pillow, she pulled a black bag from under the bed. For someone with hardly any possessions, the bag was incredibly heavy and she couldn't help herself from opening to see what was inside.

Carefully she opened the bag, trying not to damage whatever was inside. Her eyes widened upon the sight. Lexa wasn't prepared for what the bag contained. It was stuffed with money, all stacks of bills of 100 dollars. She reached out and put her arm in the bag, to see if it was just the top layer that was filled with money, but literally the whole bag was full of it.

Realizing she was not supposed to see this, Lexa quickly closed the back and shoved it under the bed, grabbing the pillow with her other hand. As if she had seen nothing, she placed the pillow on the bed, aligning it neatly with the rest.

How did Jesse come across so much money? Lexa had some money saved herself, but nowhere near as much plus she had it on her savings account, not in cash. No one kept this amount of money away from banks, unless it was earned dirty.

As desperate as she wanted to find out about the origin of the money, she decided on not telling Jesse she knew about it, as it might complicate things between them. She was clearly not supposed to know about this. _I will tell him I know about it when the time is right, _she told herself, wishing she had never seen the money in the first place.

Lexa waited in her car in the parking lot of the hospital for Jesse to come. Even though she wanted to come in to pick him up personally, he had told her not to. The money still on her mind, she agreed to wait in the parking lot. She had made up all kinds of scenarios which could explain the money, but she didn't want to jump to any conclusions.

She saw Jesse spotting her car in the distance after texting him what kind of vehicle she drove earlier today. Her Honda Civic was old, but it still ran perfectly fine.

It was refreshing to see him in normal clothing instead of his hospital gown. In his usual baggy sweater, he instantly looked a lot more alive and healthier than before.

Jesse put out his cigarette before throwing his bag (the same bag as the one in which he had stored the money) in the back of the car.

"Hey," he smiled, sitting down.

"Hey," she greeted back. "You sure you wanna go?"

Lexa asked just to be sure. She would probably go home as well if she was allowed to, but she still wanted to make sure Jesse was really feeling well enough to be without the doctors and nurses. Besides heavy bruising and swelling, he always suffered from a concussion.

"Yeah, I feel great," he insisted.

Lexa nodded. "Okay, let's get you home then."

She started the engine, letting it get warm for a moment as the car had the tendency to stop out of nowhere when it wasn't warm enough, before pulling up the highway next to the hospital.

"I'm so glad I'm finally out of there," Jesse said, watching the hospital grow smaller in the rearview mirror.

"Yeah, me too," Lexa said, keeping her eyes on the road. "Not having to visit you every day will safe me a lot of gas."

Jesse chuckled. "But you will visit me at home, won't you?" There was a hint of uncertainty in his voice, as if he wasn't sure if Lexa wanted to see him again.

She took her eyes off the road for a few seconds to look at him. "You can come and visit me for once," Lexa chuckled. "I wanna stay in bed all day and have you read stories to me."

"If I could write I'd totally do that," Jesse replied.

It was only a short drive from the hospital to their houses. She was a little nervous to tell Jesse about her cleaning his house, afraid he might get angry at her. Lexa still decided against telling him about the money, but she couldn't lie about the cleaning part. What was she going to say if he noticed his house was had magically cleaned itself?

"Jesse, before we go in I need to tell you something" Lexa said quickly before Jesse was able to get out of the car.

"This sounds bad," Jesse said, raising his eyebrows.

"Well, it's not that bad. It's just that I kinda cleaned your house," she continued. "I hope you don't mind? I just wanted you to come home to a clean house."

"Oh no, that's absolutely fine!" he replied, sounding relieved. "I don't clean it much myself so it probably needed it. How did you get in though?"

"You keep a set of keys under a stone."

A smirk covered his face, as if he was asking her how she knew the key was located there.

"I saw you picking it up once when I happened to look outside my window," she replied serious. "It's not like I'm stalking you, don't worry."

To her surprise, Jesse hadn't asked anything about a bag full of money. Instead, he seemed quite happy about her cleaning his house, thanking her multiple times while they made their way from the car over to the house. It was like he didn't even remember he had it.

"Wow, it does look spotless," Jesse said, upon viewing the living room. "Thank you for this!"

"Stop thanking me, Jesse," Lexa blushed. "It really was nothing."

"I do have to hide my keys better, though," Jesse laughed. "Do you want to stay for a drink?"

"Yeah, of course!" she replied before realizing Jesse had nothing in his fridge, but she didn't dare to tell him that. But to her amazement there seemed to be a built-in cabinet she had completely missed. Jesse opened it and retrieved two cans of Coke. In a swift movement he threw one at her, Lexa, surprisingly, catching it while sitting down on the only couch in the room.

"You seriously need to buy some groceries, by the way," Lexa laughed.

"Yeah, I know. I can't cook food so I mostly order pizza."

"I'll cook dinner for you once. My spaghetti Bolognese is the best."

Jesse nodded. "You know, you have been really kind to me. I don't think anyone has ever done so much for me. Not even my parents."

Lexa smiled softly. "It was absolutely no problem. You're the only friend I have here."

Sometimes she wondered if Jesse liked her because she was the only one who had shown any interest in him while being in the hospital. But then again she also wondered if she only liked Jesse because he was the only one she knew in Albuquerque.

She hadn't noticed Jesse moving closer to her, being all lost in her thoughts. But when she turned her head to look at him, she could not escape his eyes. Lexa knew she shouldn't do this, know she shouldn't get into this, but there was something about him that she just could not resist.

Jesse's head moved closer to her, a soft smile playing on his lips. When she first started to visit him, Lexa promised herself to just remain friends with him, but of course her heart had taken over. She moved her head closer as well, as there was no point in denying she didn't want this.

But fate was against them. Just when their lips were about to meet, the front door swung open. Distracted by the loud bang of the door crashing into the wall, Lexa turned her head, and when she saw who just entered Jesse's house, she quickly distanced herself from him.

She had never liked the three so called friends Jesse, and their perfect timing wasn't appreciated as well. They must have spotted them coming home.

Lexa glanced at Jesse a little awkwardly, but he focused his gaze on his friends. "Guys, what are you doing here?" he asked them a little nervously, rubbing his hands together.

"Jesse! my main man is back!" Skinny said, reaching out to Jesse, embracing him in a hug. His other friends did the same.

A strong scent of marijuana filled the room, and Lexa figured that was her cue to leave. She didn't have much of a problem with him smoking pot, as she knew many guys who did it. As long as he stayed off meth and cocaine or heroin, all was fine by her.

"Hey, Jesse? I'm gonna go," she told him, softly squeezing his arm to get his attention.

"I'll see you tomorrow?" Jesse said.

"Yeah," Lexa nodded, pushing herself up from the couch, leaving through the still open front door.

* * *

**A/N**: Thank you _Cappiesgirl23_ for your review :) I hope you liked this chapter and hopefully I'll see you next time!


	4. Chapter 4

Lexa woke up from the roar of a car engine. Slowly she pushed herself up, checking what time it was. The sound had to come from Jesse's car, without a doubt. Filled with curiosity, she made her way over to the window, wrapping herself in a blanket, casually peaking behind the blinds. Her eyes followed him stepping inside his car, his friends getting in as well.

She sighed, as she had hoped his friends would've been gone by now. The entire night she had been quietly watching his house, waiting for his friends to disappear so she could finish where she and Jesse had stopped. But after a while she gave up, realizing his friends weren't going to disappear anytime soon.

She was unsure if she was jealous, or worried. Now Jesse was finally home, she had imagined spending a lot more time with him, but his friends quickly destroyed that dream. Lexa understood he had his own friends, but she wondered if they were really his friends at all. Had they ever visited Jesse in the hospital? She didn't recall seeing them. The marijuana worried her as well. Who knew what they would bring with them. Marijuana was fine, but what if they would give him that new blue meth that was circling around. Jesse was finally on the right track of getting clean, he needed to stay on that track and right now his friends were seriously in the way.

Waiting for him to return, Lexa turned to her writing, but after an hour she was struggling with the words. Her mind kept drifting away to Jesse, to her and Jesse. Her feelings for him were clear. She was starting to care for him even more than she should. But feelings couldn't be stopped.

She also remembered the bag of money stashed under his bed. Lexa always considered herself to be a pretty good detective, but did she want to know about it? Maybe she was blowing this thing out of proportion, and besides, it wasn't her business.

Her heart started to flutter slightly when she heard a car engine again. Figuring it would be strange if she ran out on his driveway the second he arrived, she decided to wait for a few minutes. To pass the time Lexa made sure her hair was perfect as she suddenly felt nervous. In the time Jesse was away, she decided on confronting him about his friends. There was no guarantee he was going to understand where she was coming from, but she had to tell him his friends were not his friends at all.

After what seemed like an hour, she made her way over to his door, not bothering to put on a jacket. The door opened soon enough, and she was glad to see Jesse was happy to see her.

"Hey!" he smiled, embracing her in a slightly awkward hug.

"Hey," she greeted back. "Can I come in?"

Jesse nodded, stepping aside so she could enter.

The house wasn't as clean as it was when she left yesterday. The ashtray was full with cigarettes and joints, chips had spilled all over the floor, but she decided to ignore it.

"You had a fun night yesterday?" she asked, sitting down on the couch, noticing a burn mark in the fabric.

"Yeah, it was awesome," Jesse replied, sitting down next to her, his leg touching hers.

His hand moved next to her, his fingertips softly touching her, catching her attention. Lexa turned her head to the side, his head moving closer to her. It was as if they had returned to the exact same place they were the night before, except this time, Lexa had to get something of her chest before she was going through with this.

"Jesse," she breathed softly, his lips only inches from hers. "I need to ask you something first."

He moved backwards, slightly surprised by her actions. "Yeah, sure," he said, a hint of uncertainty in his voice.

"Besides pot, did you do any other drugs, yesterday?" Lexa asked quietly.

She needed to know this before she went through with anything. A relationship with an addict was a hard one, and if she was not ready for that she didn't want to get Jesse's hopes up. Lexa was still trying to stand on her own feet in Albuquerque, she wasn't sure if she could handle more stress, fear and worries.

The silence that followed wasn't the answer she was hoping for.

"Please tell me you didn't…"

But silence followed again. Jesse looked at his feet, as if he was ashamed of what he had done.

Lexa ran her fingers through her hair, softly sighing. She should've know. She should've known it right from the start. How naïve had she been? Of course Jesse was going to turn to drugs again, why had she been so stupid to think otherwise? One little trip to the hospital wasn't going to change things.

"I'm sorry," Jesse finally said. His eyes met hers again.

"I can't do this." Lexa rose from the couch. "I can't do this if you're not sober. How am I supposed to take care of you, when I can hardly take care of myself? I'm not ready to deal with this, Jesse."

"I know, and I'm not asking you to take care of me. I just couldn't resist it, I guess."

"I gotta go," Lexa said hastily. "I'm sorry."

* * *

She wondered if she was being egotistical, but she couldn't decide if she was or wasn't. The fact was, she had dealt with addiction before and had seen all that it did. How it destroyed people. Jesse might needed her help, but could she give him that?

Lexa's father had been an addict. The times she had seen her mother struggling with it had stayed with her forever. Getting clean was relatively easy, staying clean was another story. But like she cared for her father, she cared for Jesse. Was it her duty to help him?

Her own feelings confused her. Should she do what her mother would've done?

The sound of her doorbell disrupted her thoughts. Lexa lifted her arm to check her watch. It had been over a couple of hours since she returned from Jesse's place. She hadn't even noticed the time moving so fast.

The doorbell rang again. "Okay, okay," she muttered. "I'm coming." She wrapped herself in a hoodie as she made her way to the front door.

She gasped when she saw Jesse standing in her doorway. He was the last person she would have expected right now, especially considering the way she had left him. In his right hand he had a bouquet of flowers. They looked hand picked.

"Jesse," she breathed, not sure what the say.

"Look," Jesse started, taking a step forward closer to her. "I'm sorry for the – …"

"Shh," Lexa said, placing her finger on his lips. She didn't need to hear it because she knew he meant it.

Suddenly it came to her. She had been egotistical. This wasn't about her, this was about _them_. Together they could get through it, they could help each other. Jesse's drug of choice might be meth, but her drug of choice was him.

She pulled him closer to her by the edge of his shirt, his body now pressing against hers. Her arms were wrapped around his neck and before she was able to think this through, she kissed him. Lexa felt Jesse reacting to her. His hands wrapped around her waist while he didn't let go of the flowers. His lips felt soft against hers and Lexa could feel her heart almost leaping out of her chest.

This was what she wanted. This was what she had waited for. Right this moment was perfect. She didn't care one bit that the whole neighborhood could see them. This moment was about them.

"Thank you for the flowers," Lexa breathed, breaking off the kiss.

"You're welcome," Jesse replied with a smile before leaning forward again to kiss her.

Lexa couldn't stop herself anymore. She knew they both wanted this. There was no point in denying it. Softly she pulled Jesse inside the house, turning around in the process so she could close the door behind her with her foot.

Jesse took the lead and pushed her gently against the drawer, placing the flowers behind her so his hands were free.

Lexa placed one hand in his neck while pushing his beanie from his head with her other, letting it fall to the floor. She had always loved the look of his hair, always wanting to run her fingers through them. Who'd ever thought she'd get to do what she wanted.

"Bedroom is upstairs," Lexa whispered, before quickly returning his kiss.

How they made it up the stairs without both falling down was a miracle. Lexa managed to get her shoes off on the way, kicking them down, while Jesse took his shirt off. Once they reached the top, Lexa took his hand and guided him to her bedroom.

Lexa made a mental note to make her bed more regularly when she spotted her room, hoping Jesse wouldn't mind the clutter. It was ironic how she cleaned his house but she had a hard time keeping her own bedroom clean and organized.

Her hands cupped his cheek as she deepened the kiss. Jesse pressed his body against hers again before pushing her onto the bed. He rested his next to her body to make sure he wouldn't hurt her.

"I have waited so long for this," Jesse said, as he unbuttoned his pants to take them off.

Lexa smiled. "Me too," she admitted. Even though this moment was all she had ever wanted for the two of them, the fact that Jesse was a drug addict didn't disappear from her mind. However she told herself she would steer him onto the right path. She could help him the way she helped him before.

"Are you sure you want to do this?" Jesse said, his hands on the edge of her shirt, ready to take them off.

Lexa nodded. "Yes," she replied. "Yes, I am."

**A/N: So sorry for the wait! School has been taking up all of my time :( Please let me know what you think and if you want me to continue.**


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